Men always seem to be the ones to go to war...and right now the war is of the mind.
When I began this journey into the mental health field, I had a rudimentary goal of eventually making my speciality revolve around men. I knew from my basic general education classes in my undergrad that men were being horribly under-served in the world, but I did not realize just how far this could outreach. The culture around upper level education seems to place men at a disadvantage to their female, or other identifying counterparts. Don't even get me started on how race plays a role in this...
Feminist ideology has swept the nation in education. Feminist teachers and professors who claim to be "creating an even ground" for everyone, really mean making men feel how they believe women have felt...regardless of the truth. Men are taught to take on more feminine characteristics and let go of their natural masculine tendencies in order to "fit in" with the dominant ideologies. Men are taught that they are inherently dumb, sexual predators, unruly, violent, emotionless, and bring shame to society. If a man tries to speak out about these ideas, or challenge the ideology, they will most certainly face backlash and ridicule by other students...and in a lot of cases even the teachers.
When I was going through school, I decided very early on that I will do my best to remain respectful of those around me...but there is no way I am going to feel my beliefs and ideas are any lesser than, just because a person with three letters next to their name (PhD) says it is wrong. Was a wrong at any time? Absolutely. But instead of getting frustrated, I was glad to be shown a more succinct line of thinking because thats what I thought college was for. But there were times I was right...and I knew I was right...and I was not going to sit idly while a professor tries to brainwash everyone into their version of what "critical thinking" is. From the very start of my college career I promised myself I would try to speak out against what I felt was wrong, regardless of the backlash, because in my heart I knew it was the "right" thing to do. And boy did I receive backlash.
I started to notice that over time, professors started to fear my hand raising during their lectures. Me. A teenager (at the time) asking questions or posing alternative views to an adult who has spent their career devoted to these topics. Surely these adults, these PhD wielders, could handle some opposition right? For the most part no...and to me, even more interestingly, was the reaction fellow students had.
I thought speaking up for men would act as a 'call of duty' or call to camaraderie for other men in the class to step up and express their beliefs. I didn't care if your views were the exact same as mine...only that you had "the balls" to stand up for what you believe in. I was faced with 95% the opposite however. I can only recall one or two times in my college career where other men would step up and defend men, or add onto what I was saying in person. Men too afraid to speak out against the norm, and place themselves in a vulnerable position. Men too nervous to set themselves apart from others and risk social isolation, for whatever driving force they deemed supreme (my guess at the time was to hopefully hook-up with a girl in the class).
But this is not an issue that affects the classroom setting. Think of the world we live in today, and how many men you see standing up for what is right vs. how many men just allow things to happen to them and get their identities steam-rolled. I see frustrated and upset comments all the time on social media posts, mostly from older men, stating things like "I remember when men used to be men," or "what a beta-male, where are the real men." I don't think there are a lack of "alpha" men, or men willing to be masculine...I think we as a whole have been lazily reprogrammed to think that non-masculine traits are the golden standard, and natural masculine traits are evil. Men are asleep...and it doesn't seem like there are too many who are waking up, or even want to leave the dream in the first place.
Men need to wake up for themselves, and to help promote a more balanced and structured world around them. "Strong" men exude confidence, safety, protection, and stability for themselves, and the people who are close to them. Men who speak with their chest high, and keep their emotions in check (I'm talking to you guys who get so fired up about something you lose yourself in anger), are a dangerous force to be reconned with, which can be a good thing if delivered in the right way. These common ideologies driving men to fall asleep need to be challenged appropriately and the men who do it need to stand firm in their beliefs. I urge you to find a more attractive quality (romantic or otherwise) in a man than confidence. Maybe logical? But even then, confidence gives off the impression that you are competent in your beliefs, and you have a purpose.
My advice? Start standing up for yourself. Find a purpose for the words you want to speak. Research the issue at hand, and finally, don't let anyone tell you your ideas are lesser than without some damn good evidence that their belief is more succinct. If you get that feeling in your chest that something is wrong...you should probably listen to that voice and figure out how to protect yourself and others from what is happening. Maybe if more men start to stand up for themselves, social, political, and religious battles might cease to exist.
I think its also important to reiterate the duty to remain respectful or calm, even in the face of great evil or wrong-doing. When you are calm in the face of turmoil, stronger and more logical decision-making can occur, and you most likely wont lose control of the situation/yourself. In other words...keep your impulses in check.
In conclusion...Men, stand up for what is right. Stop allowing other people to make decisions for you, and tell you how you should feel about anything. Stop living for the approval of others, especially women, and start living for what is "right." It is much easier to roll over onto your back and allow everyone to walk all over you...but standing and creating change, though way more difficult, can offer a sense of pride, self, and naturally bring others into the light. Set strong goals for your life, and work hard to achieve them (though the timeframe might change). Finally, be and example for other men and boys so they can grow up in a world that respects them again, and they respect themselves.
My personal philosophy: I may not always be right...but I will admit when I am wrong and I will do my best to never lie to you.
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